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You learned that your loved one cheated on you. After the first shock reaction, the question will inevitably arise: what will happen to the union further? Journalist Thomas Feifer discusses why it is important to take part of the responsibility for what happened if you decide to forgive and stay together.

Treason knocks the soil from under the feet. If you have lost confidence and do not feel intimacy, you have every right to leave. But when you still decide to maintain a relationship, you take responsibility for your choice. Demonstrate a rejection to the partner and not to leave him doubt that he is a traitor is the worst, that you can do. Try, without denying your feelings, start moving towards each other. These 11 steps will help you along this way.

Forget about everything that you read or heard about betrayal

It is important to free yourself from the response scenario that may be imposed from the outside: films, articles, statistics, friends’ advice. Each situation is always unique, and only on you and your partner it depends on whether you can cope with this test.

Do not blame your partner

If you want to get out of the impasse as a cohesive and loving pair, you must share responsibility for what happened. A logical question arises

– how so, because it was not me who committed betrayal and put our relationship under the threat. I am a victim of this act. However, any infidelity is almost always the result of what is happening with your relationship. And it means that you also indirectly play the role in this.

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